3 Moments of Noise

Only the 2nd stupidest thing Cameroon did today

Tonight we present three moments of noise, one for each of those fallen sides who will soon be leaving Brazil. Because this is In Play Lose, of course, and it is important that we return to our mission by focusing upon what definitely was weak this week. And we don't want to have a moment of silence, because that would just be a bunch of blank space. So let's make some noise!

Australia
The Socceroos deserve plaudits and high fives for their spirited performances v. both Chile and the Netherlands – games which were closer than, by all right, they should be. Australia played with class and competed like hell against what look to be two of the better teams in this tourney. Given how awful they were looking in the run-up to the tourney, that they pulled it back together was certainly commendable. The talent just wasn’t there to get them further. I’m not really sure where the Aussies go from here. They certainly made a splash in 2006, when they were out-and-out-jobbed against the Italians. They seem to still be living off that glory, however. This team was already too old and slow in 2010, and it hasn’t really gotten any younger. Fortunately, they play in the weakest of the world’s regions, so there is ample opportunity for trial-and-error going forward on the talent front.

Cameroon
Jeez, guys, there I go pumping your tires in my praise of African football last night and you go out and do that today? When Alex Song decided at 40’ to elbow Mandzukic in the back and get himself tossed, the only thing that I could think was that he was doing so because he wanted to get tossed and get as far away from this mess of a side as soon as possible. The Indomitable Lions showed some good stretches early on v. Mexico, but once El Tri started scoring goals – albeit disallowed goals courtesy of Mr. Magoo over there acting as linesman – this team just sort of caved. Which, really, isn’t all that surprising. In Simon Kuper’s excellent book Football v. the Enemy, which should be required reading about all LOSE readers, he spends a considerable period of time and pages on Cameroon – a bitterly divided nation where football, much like seemingly everything else, is rife with corruption, division, and politics. This team seems to regularly have the talent to reach this level, but lack the cohesion and continuity to do anything more than meekly exit. Sure enough, this year they showed up late, the players bickered with each other, they bickered with their federation, and they weren’t any good in the end.

Such a dysfunctional ending as we saw today seemed rather appropriate. This team caught a huge break drawing Tunisia for the African playoffs, who backed in thanks to this mess. Egypt and Burkina Faso were better teams who got worse draws. It was always going to be tough for Cameroon, but today they completely disintegrated, and now they get to be fodder in a few days for a Brazil team likely to be in a really bad mood. Good luck with that.

Spain
I posed this question the other day in the preview: what did it say about the state of Spanish football that Atlético de Madrid – a collection of castoffs and loaners and discount buys – had pipped Real and Barca in La Liga? I mean, no diss to Atlético at all for winning, but given how much of La Furia Roja ply their trade for those two big clubs, such substandard (by their standards) finishing in La Liga made me wonder if something wasn’t quite right on the Iberian. Well, I guess we have our answer.

Soon after Xabi Alonso’s penalty gave Spain the lead v. the Dutch, the Oranje launched two long balls – one to Robben, one to van Persie – both of which were fractions offside. Those types of passes were very un-Oranje in nature, but both of them suggested a lack of foot speed in Spain’s defense. The Dutch then did it twice more, once right before the half and once soon after the break, both of which resulted in goals. The Dutch had figured them out, and heaven help you on the football pitch if the Dutch figure you out, as no team so mercilessly exploits opposing weaknesses. The Dutch not only destroyed Spain 5-1, they possibly also destroyed the entire way Spanish football will be played from hereon. The Oranje can publish that blueprint and collect royalties after that thorough and rather systematic stomping.

I could understand del Bosque’s notion to change things up today in an attempt to find a spark, but that lineup against Chile was downright bizarre. It just wasn’t going to work against a Chilean team that attacks, attacks, and then, when they get tired, attack some more just for the fuck of it. Spain, as presently constructed, are old, slow, unathletic and passé.

There sure were a lot of pundits predicting a Spain repeat as champions. The LOSE himself, while skeptical of such predictions of Spanish glory, still had Spain ranked #5 going into the tourney. This begs the question, in retrospect: what on Earth were all of us thinking? Spain went with what had been winning them championships ever since 2008, and you can certainly see why they would think to do that – if it ain’t broke don’t fix it and all – but the response from teams to the quick pitches and the high heat has been to emphasize youth, tempo and athleticism. I’m not sure anyone was expecting the game, itself, to change this rapidly. It’s almost like basketball on grass out there at times. Spain lack physicality up front and foot speed in the back. They’re still a bunch of midfielders passing it about between the boxes – and once the back 8 of the Oranje’s 5-3-2 clamped down on that midfield, and they starting throwing long bombs to Robben and van Persie running fly patterns, Spain was in big, big trouble.

I’ve loved watching this team over the past six years, as they’ve played a style never seen before – one which played both offense and defense at the same time, threatening opponents while simultaneously driving them mad through constant possession of the ball. Never have 1-0 games look so dominating. They’ve certainly got good young players (Spain won the European U-21s in 2013, after all), but a quick look at the rosters of France and the Netherlands and Belgium seems to indicate that the future was now. In that sense, Spain may actually be behind at the moment. And we certainly need to toast Spain for six years of pretty spectacular, championship football. I will drink to that, for sure, although I don’t need many reasons to start drinking. And something tells me we will be toasting more fallen sides here soon. Maybe even as soon as Thursday ...

4 Pennies for Your Thoughts

Dr. Strangegloves

1. Mexico wins 0-0!
Ochoa was a beast. His brave performance kept it level and earned El Tri the point. El Tri seem to treat goalkeepers in the same Flavour-of-the-Month manner that they treat coaches, so Ochoa has been bouncing in and out of the lineup for years. He’s had a strange career. Not only has he suddenly established himself as the #1 guy in Mexico, but he’d be wearing the number 1 shirt on the World Cup Best XI right about now as well. And El Tri need that stability and that sanity. That was an outstanding effort today to take a point in hostile territory, but Seleção always do bring out the best in Mexico, as El Tri have had more success vs. Brazil across all competitions than pretty much any other nation has.

2. Brazil loses 0-0!
Quite honestly, if this tourney wasn’t being played in Brazil, I would expect this team to go out in the 16s. Even at home, Seleção still might. Before the tourney, I would’ve suggested that there were maybe only 4-5 teams who realistically would’ve thought they had a chance to beat the Brazilians on their turf. After these two games, that number is probably closer to 10. To be blunt, Scolari’s system football worked in 2002, in part, because the tourney was so bad. Lots of teams were injury prone, moving up the schedule wrecked preparation time for others – and Brazil still had better players than anyone else. If they have better players than anyone else in 2014, well, Scolari might want to put them in the game sooner than later. The highest level of Brazilian soccer has always seen the triumph of imagination, creativity and grace – if Plan A didn’t work, they’d run through Plans B-Z until they found one that worked, and usually did so within a few possessions. This team’s m.o. seems to consist entirely of Neymar inventing something out of nothing. After that, they seem out of ideas. El Tri showed today that Seleção truly are vulnerable, even on their home pitch, and given the way clubs have been aggressive throughout this tourney so far, it seems unlikely a 16s or 8s opponent – one which likely played confident, attacking football to get them to that point in the tourney – is suddenly going to become scared of playing Brazil. Which I think is an excellent development, having watched opponents cower before the Brazilians for much of the past 30 years. Brazil could still very well win this tourney, but they are truly going to have to earn it.

3. If it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium
The Belgians had the sort of match going today which can make you hate the game of soccer. It can be a cruel game, and chasing a game can be among the most frustrating of sporting endeavours. The Belgians held the ball for 70% of possession, outshot Algeria 17-3, but there they were looking at a shock defeat with 20 minutes remaining, as Algeria’s one shot on target had found the way into the net. But once they got the first goal at 70 minutes courtesy of Fellaini – captain of the World Cup’s All-Hair Team to be sure – the second seemed almost a certainty. Which is sort of how it felt like it would go last night in the U.S.-Ghana game – and thus, the quick response by the Americans and the U.S. win seemed even more shocking in the moment. The Red Devils are everyone’s “darkhorse” and “surprise team” this year, so much so that the only real surprise surrounding Belgium would’ve been if they’d lost this match. Given the hot garbage that passed for a 1:1 draw between Russia and South Korea later in the afternoon, it would appear the Belgians have already survived their toughest test in Group H.

4. Afrolicious
The Fennec Foxes acquitted themselves well in defeat today. They are a savvy side, much more European in style of play than the other African sides (which I suppose makes sense, given that so many of the players grew up in France). With the exception of Nigeria, all of the African sides have looked good so far. As I’ve documented before, I love me some African football. I really would like to see more slots allotted to Africa in the World Cup, since I do think the quality is there to back it up. What would help the CAF to plead that case, of course, is more positive results in the tournament, which continue to be hard to come by. The Elephants are in a good position to advance, and their game with Colombia should be terrific. And I actually think Ghana poses some interesting problems for the Germans, given that they’ve got so much speed and the Germans have been reduced to playing four centre backs in their injury riddled back line. (Of course, Germany will pose big problems for Ghana as well, since the Black Stars had all of five minutes in the game vs. the U.S. they needed to defend, and couldn’t mark the grass they were standing on.) Cameroon was always going to be up against it, but they had good moments early v. Mexico. I won’t even pretend to guess what the Nigerians are doing.

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