Wednesday, May 2, 2018

And Then There Was Lose


That’s more like it.

THE LOSE thought it best to wait to comment on the NBA playoffs until the first round was completed. And one of the things that I want to say here at the start is this: all of these teams who got beat in the playoffs are good teams. They’re good teams with good players, and I’m inclined to want to watch them.

And being good matters. I’m not into the whole notion of “ringz.” It’s nice to win championships but doesn’t happen too often. I’m not a believer in championship or bust. There is nothing inherently wrong, in my mind, with being a good team that wins a lot of games regularly. It’s easy to forget that when we live in an era of Tankamania – an idea which is predicated on the idea that in order to be great, you have to first be terrible, and there isn’t any point to being somewhere in between. But this is an entertainment industry above all else, and in the present tense, putting a good and winning product out on the floor is a good thing.

Where the problem comes with being good in the NBA is that teams wind up being locked into certain cores and groups of players, and once that happens, you have very little flexibility to change. This is a function of the salary cap, which puts benchmarks on the amount that teams have to spend on players. There’s a minimum floor, there are top end caps and tax thresholds, and there are slots where certain players and entitled to certain amounts. Those hold true for everyone. You have to spend that money. There are more than a few players in the NBA who have so-called “max” contracts not necessarily because they are élite players, but simply because the team had the slot available and had to spend the money on someone.

So what frequently occurs, of course, is that a team gets locked into a core group of players and that core maxes out their ability, but very few good teams are good enough to win titles and once you’ve maxed out and reached your ceiling, and you’re locked into enormous financial commitments for players who are no longer improving, the only way to go is down. We are tantalized by young teams with talent and potential, in part, because it’s exciting to see growth and imagine the possibilities, whereas a lot of fundamentally good teams look, in the bigger context, to be stale and staid and stuck.

And one of the things which has been a plague for the NBA the past couple of seasons is the overwhelming sense that a whole bunch of good teams are stuck. Not bad teams, mind you, but actual good teams that win a lot of games. They can’t get better, they can’t realistically compete for a title, and they’re cost-constrained. Now what? Far too many of the eight teams recently vanquished from the NBA playoffs find themselves in this exact predicament. 

This is a case of the road to hell being paved with good intentions. None of these teams are actually trying to get themselves stuck. They’re making what seem, at the time, to be sound personnel decisions that, cumulatively, come to wind up looking not so good.

Being stuck and good sucks, but being stuck and bad is far worse. Detroit is stuck and is bad. Charlotte is probably an even better example. Hornets 2.0 was actually a 3-seed in the playoffs two seasons ago. They’ve built up their entire roster with the idea of being good, and with the idea that it’s going to cost money in order to do it. They’ve done things like sign Nic Batum to a $25m a year contract which, at the time, seemed like a bit of an overpay but it wasn’t that far above the going rate and, more importantly, if Batum didn’t get that money in Charlotte, he’d likely have gotten a similar amount elsewhere. Their entire roster is built this way – guys signed in good faith on the part of the organization for a few dollars more here and there. The problem being, of course, that in 2018, none of these guys are any good any more. They’re old or hurt or whatnot, so now Charlotte has a bad team with a bad roster that’s also an expensive roster. Their best player, Kemba Walker, is only their 5th-highest paid player. They’re up against the tax, which they do not want to pay. (The legendary competitive drive Michael Jordan had as a player does not seem to extend quite as much as an owner when it comes to absorbing extra cost.) The only way to create some financial relief is by attaching something they want to a trade of something they don’t want, since no one else in the league wants $20m+ of Dwight Howard or Nic Batum. The Hornets are not only bad in the present, but they’re completely screwed going forward. Those days in which they were gagging away a first round series against Miami are going to look like the salad days for residents of Buzz City in a couple of years.

So, if you’re a fan of one of these types of teams which dotted the first round of the playoffs – a good team, a playoff team that cannot make it out of the first round and now seems stuck – at least take heart in the fact that your team has been good. There will be plenty of time for theorizing about team building and roster construct this coming summer, but rather than lament about the uncertain future, at least you can bitch here and now in the present about the fact that your team wasn’t very good in a best-of-7 series.

No team was worse in a best-of-7 series than the Portland Trail Blazers, who were swept by New Orleans and played a supporting role in this year’s edition of Small Sample Size Theatre, in that getting thumped so convincingly by the Pelicans actually convinced more than a few people that New Orleans was good enough to beat Golden State in the second round. The advanced data would suggest that the Blazers actually generated a decent number of good shots and simply missed them, to which I would respond that missing good shots is Exhibit A of not playing well. More than anything, it was just a bad match-up for the Blazers: they have no one to guard Anthony Davis (who does?), and Jrue Holliday decided it was a good time to remind everyone that he’s one of the better 2-way players in the game and spent the whole series thwarting Dame Lillard. New Orleans were bigger and more assertive defensively, and compounding the problem was the fact that Portland runs the least transition in the NBA, whereas the Pelicans run up and down the floor and play faster than any other team in the league. Being both smaller and slower is not a winning combination.
Immediately in the aftermath, there were rumblings about Terry Stotts possibly losing his head coaching job, which would be stupid. Stotts has done a uniquely good sort of coaching job in Portland the past few years, one in which the Blazers’ continually overachieving during the regularly season saves his boss’ job, because GM Neal Olshey hamstrung this team for the next five years by getting drunk on cap space in the summer of 2016 and doling out awful, unmovable contracts to the likes of Myers Leonard (who?) and Evan Turner – the latter of whom has become the source of fan ire this past season, as if it was somehow his fault that Olshey drove a dump truck full of money up to his house and poured it out in his driveway. It would help if he weren’t next to useless on the floor, of course: every one of the many moments he has the ball in his hand is a moment that neither Dame nor C.J. does, and the greatest advocate of that in the league are the 29 opposing defenses.
Portland’s had the same problem for years now: their backcourt is great and their frontcourt is meh, and at this point every year, the question that arises is, “can you win in the NBA with that backcourt?” Well, sure you can, if your frontcourt isn’t meh. People say the Blazers should trade either Dame or C.J., which is a perverse sort of game of whack-a-mole in which you solve one problem by creating another. They managed to get some salary relief this season by moving third guard Allen Crabbe’s $70m contract to Brooklyn, but the problem was that Crabbe was a guy whose shooting ability the Blazers actually needed. The roster is still a mess.
But it’s been a mess for several years now, and every year Stotts goes back into the laboratory and cooks up a scheme enabling his team to then outperform. They won 49 games and got the 3-seed in the West through some slick offensive sets and through some tenacity on the glass and on the defensive end. There is some frustration in stagnation, of course, but in truth, the Blazers are actually continuing to punch above their weight, and that is noteworthy and admirable. The worst thing they did all year was draw the short straw come playoff seeding time.

One of my favorite moments in the first round of the playoffs came in Game 1 between the Houston Rockets and the Minnesota Timberwolves. Minnesota were down three with 8.8 seconds remaining, having been just thrown a lifeline in the form of Chris Paul throwing a pass into the stands. Minnesota needs a three to tie, and they are inbounding from their own sideline in the backcourt.
As it turns out, the Wolves have, on their roster, one unique player who is useful in this circumstance: Jamal Crawford. Crawford may be a day older than coal, but he can still create a 3-point shot for himself. He’s one of the best ever at doing that. (Now, whether it goes in or not is another story, but you can say that about every guy on the Wolves who puts up a three.) Furthermore, he is indisputably the best ever at creating a 4-point shot for himself. This is important because the Rockets are likely to foul, forcing Minnesota to shoot two down three, but Crawford’s good enough at getting up his own shot that the Rockets would have to be extremely careful not to give three free throws to Jamal, who is also a 90% foul shooter. You couldn’t think of a better player to have in this situation.
And the Houston Rockets respond to this threat by covering Jamal Crawford with … James Harden, whose defensive deficiencies are the stuff of NBA folklore
And Houston does this, of course, because they know exactly what Minnesota is going to do, which is have all of the on-court awareness of a traffic cone. Minnesota will throw the ball in to Jimmy Butler, who will go down and try to shoot it himself, because that’s what Minnesota always does in these situations. Houston is so sure this is going to happen that they put a guy who can’t guard his own shoes on the Wolves’ best option for getting up a quick three. 
And sure enough … Butler gets the ball, the Wolves stand around and do nothing, he’s picked up by the Rockets best defender, P.J. Tucker, who doesn’t actually have to foul him because Butler dribbles into a no-man’s land, and he winds up taking a spinning turnaround long two, as his foot is on the line. Bad shot, bad play, game over, Wolves lose a game that could possibly have been stolen.
And that’s not to knock Jimmy Butler. I love me some Jimmy Butler, and he did all he can in the playoffs after returning from knee surgery. But what it speaks to is the complete lack of awareness, and lack of any sort of coherent offensive plan, which runs rampant through the entirety of Timberwolves. And that alone makes any meeting with the Rockets a pending disaster, because one of the things the Rockets do, which I love, is dare their opponents to actually pay attention. 
As an example, the Rockets switch everything on defense. They’re perfectly content to do so, even if, at times, it means their guards are matched-up with bigs underneath. This is because the Rockets do the math: as explained previously here by Mike D’Antoni’s brother, the post-up is one of the most inefficient plays in the game. They know that teams will break down their normal offensive patterns when they see a switch of a guard onto a big down low and try to force the action, and that teams will mess-up the cross-matches going back down the floor. They want to try and bait their opponents and fool them into doing this. Having said that, the Rockets are also stubborn in how they will adhere to what they’re doing, sometimes to a fault. They’re not going to change what they do even if it’s not working – which is how they got thumped by the Spurs in last year’s playoffs, when the Spurs yielded whole areas of the floor where the Rockets could take shots and the Rockets refused to take them. If, for example, you design some primary actions whereby you can get small Houston guards switched down low on a talented and offensively-skilled big, your guy can eat and eat really well, and keep on eating because Houston will keep switching. Gosh, if only Minnesota had one of those types of guys on their team.
Oh, wait, they do. Karl-Anthony Towns. Remember him?
And what is KAT doing when the Rockets switch on the primary action and he’s matched up against someone like Chris Paul, who is something like nine inches shorter than him? He’s routinely, systematically drifting off into the corner to “preserve the spacing” on the play. What the hell is that? Seriously, what the fuck is wrong is you? That should be an instant read – CP3 is switched onto KAT, feed the big guy in the post and let him eat. But instead, you have KAT scoring 5 points in playoff losses and rarely seeing the ball, and you’ve got Thibs saying “Karl has to be more assertive on the offensive end” in the post-game interviews after playoff losses, and I’m wondering if KAT being more assertive involves him saying, “give me the motherfucking ball, motherfucker,” in order to get their attention. That’s generally not a great way to endear yourself to teammates, but given how hard-headed everyone in Minnesota is, it may be the only way. 
Seriously, I’ve hated literally everything I’ve seen from Minnesota for the past two seasons. That they somehow finished with the 4th-rated offense in the NBA this season speaks to how flawed the metric is for rating offenses. The Wolves have gone all-in on loading up on guys who can create their own shot. The downside to that is that no one on this team can actually pass the basketball, and even worse, they don’t appear to be able to think their way through a game – which doesn’t really bode well when you’re playing against teams that actually know what they’re doing. If the primary action of a Minnesota play doesn’t work, everyone on the court collectively shrugs and then whomever has the ball just goes one-on-one.
Oh yeah, and the defense sucks.
That they were even close to winning several of their games with Houston stemmed from the fact that the Rockets didn’t play all that well and couldn’t throw the ball in the Gulf of Mexico. (50 point quarter in Game 4 aside.) And most of the narrative about the Wolves falls along the lines of “a young team that needs to grow,” which belies the fact that they really aren’t all that young, save for KAT and Anthony Wiggins, who is sending Glen Taylor scrounging through the desk drawer and looking for the receipts after giving Wiggins a max contract. 
Tom Thibodeau has parlayed his role as the defensive mastermind of the 2008 NBA champion Boston Celtics first into a head gig in Chicago and then as a head coach and president in Minnesota – a combo of jobs which proves to be a bad one most of the time – and while me, the Celtics admirer, genuinely appreciates what he did in Boston, the fact is that the 2008 Celtics are one of the most unremarkable and self-important NBA champions in history. Yet he’s managed to con people into thinking he’s a good coach, parlaying that Boston success into conning first the Bulls, and then Minnesota, into thinking he’s some sort of coaching guru when his offensive schemes are pre-historic, and for some reason he gets amazing leeway when it comes to signing old Chicago wash-ups like Derek Rose and needlessly playing two bigs and running an offense that wasn’t even cutting edge in 1998. The Wolves win games in spite of him. Their guys just make shit up and occasionally the ball goes in the basket. Not to mention the fact that he is grossly overplaying guys, just like he did in Chicago, which shortened quite a few careers there. And meanwhile, the defense still sucks.
And since Minnesota is so starved for success – they hadn’t made the playoffs in 14 years – and because they had to endure the absence of Butler for two months in the middle of the season due to a knee injury, Thibs will likely get a pass for this team’s truly gross performance. But there is enough individual talent on this team to add up to more than an 8-seed in the playoffs. This team should have been better than it was. It shouldn’t have been playing a play-in game in game 82 of the regular season of the Nuggets just to make the playoffs in the first place. That it did speaks to a level of general incompetence in the organization, but you can’t remove the coach in this sort of situation because, as we’ve seen elsewhere, that would require the exec who is also the coach to admit that he the coach doesn’t know what he’s doing.

If Joe Prunty weren’t already a lame duck coach in Milwaukee, his in-game decision making in Game 7 would have constituted a fireable offense. Leading 15-12 late in the first quarter, Prunty decided to turn to his bench … 


The Celtics went on a 20-2 run to close out the quarter, and the Bucks were running uphill from there.
Jesus, what an incoherent mess of a team. The Bucks have all of these long, rangy types, and yet their defense couldn’t stop conceding wide open shots to a Celtics team that was desperately in need of wide open shots in order to succeed, given that their two best offensive players are on the shelf. They would foolishly overhelp and leave open shooters, they would reach on defense late in the shot clock and pick up needless fouls and concede free throws. Brad Stevens took what the Bucks defense gave them: his two slashers were filling those gaps, Horford was patient in the post game and worked the Bucks down low, and Scary Terry Rozier used the lack of attention span from the Milwaukee guards against them time and again. 
On the offensive end, meanwhile, you’d wind up with nonsense like three Bucks all standing within two feet of each other on the block, while on more than one occasion a Bucks 2-man game got stymied by running into their own guy, a third guy standing in a spot where he wasn’t supposed to be. Every player on the Bucks has a tell. You know what they’re going to do from the moment they get the ball. Giannis can win games on his own even if you know what he’ll do ahead of time, but he can’t win all the games by himself. Not yet, anyway.
And Giannis is still our future overlord, of course, but Giannis still has lots of bad habits on both ends of the floor – habits due, in part, to the fact that the Bucks don’t do anything to make the game easier for him. The obvious ploy in this series, of course, was to play Giannis at center, put the ball in his hands at the top of key and let him go to work – but that lineup fares badly for Milwaukee because the other four guys on the court can’t figure out where it is they’re supposed to be at any given time, so Giannis has no good passing angles and can thus be at least be slowed down, if not stopped completely. Even worse, whichever empty suit is patrolling the sidelines can’t even figure out which four guys should be out there with Giannis playing center to begin with. 
If I’m the Bucks, knowing now that Mike Budenholzer has worked his way out of a job in Atlanta, I’m calling him immediately. Coach Bud got far more accomplished in Atlanta with far fewer raw materials than Giannis and also Khris Middleton, who was just a stone-cold assassin in this series. There is a lot of chaff on the roster, of course, and there is a big question of what they’ll do with Jabari Parker – he of the -39 rating in 29 minutes in game 7, a skilled offensive player who seemingly can’t guard a chair and who has unfortunately missed two whole seasons with knee injuries. I’d be inclined to let him walk as a free agent this summer, but then again, if you had a coach with a clue, maybe he could carve out a scheme in which Jabari’s considerable offensive upside could be realized.
This was a huge missed opportunity for the Bucks. They played like garbage most of the season, but maneuvered themselves into a favorable match-up in the first round with a beat-up Boston side. Having the best player in the series on your team is usually a huge advantage. We’d have thought going in that was the case for the Bucks with Giannis, but unfortunately for Milwaukee, it turns out the best player in this series was Brad Stevens.

I was grateful for this ESPN deep-dive, published yesterday, in which they attempt to discern just what in the hell is going on with Kawhi Leonard in San Antonio. This was actually an underreported story during the regular season. If this had been going on in Cleveland, given that franchise’s propensity for self-creating drama, it would have been splashed constantly across every site in the country. I know the Spurs want to be low-key about everything, and I know Kawhi Leonard wants to maintain a low profile in the media, but we just went through a season where one of the five best players in the world missed 73 games and then the entire playoff series with a mysterious injury that’s never been fully explained, and somehow this was of less importance than talking about “WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE WARRIORS?” which is nothing, and “WHAT’S WRONG WITH CLEVELAND?” which is … well, how much time do you have …
And I was really looking forward to seeing what Kawhi was going to do this year. He’s added elements to his game every summer. I sort of anticipated that Kawhi would work to improve his playmaking, given that the Spurs were desperate for point guard play last season. He’d tighten up his handle, he’s got the feel and vision and basketball IQ to become an excellent passer … Kawhi running the point? Jesus, that could’ve been cool.
But instead, we got no Kawhi this year. Instead, we had this injury mystery – and to be clear here from the get-go, I have ZERO doubt that Kawhi was truly injured. Kawhi doesn’t want to waste time on the sidelines. Basketball players want to play basketball. And team doctors can say that guys are ‘cleared to play’ all they want to, but if guys don’t feel like they’re ready to play, they shouldn’t be playing. Guys know their own bodies better than anyone else.
But everything else about this story speaks of mistrust between team and player – or, as framed frequently by the Spurs, between team and player’s entourage – and as that ESPN story explains, there are all these weird ulterior motives seemingly at play, and there is an enormous frustration level now for everyone involved – for Kawhi, for the team, for the players, for Coach Pop. The Spurs brass are understandably a bit miffed at the moment, and now have to decide if they want to invest $219 million in an extension for a guy who they think stiffed them for a whole season.
Kawhi’s absence, of course, exposed just how awful the Spurs offseason was. They’d positioned themselves well to try and land Chris Paul, and were caught off-guard when CP3 decided to go and play off-guard in Houston. They gave away lots of future flexibility to the likes of 30-somethings like Pau Gasol and Rudy Gay and an LaMarcus Aldridge extension. Aldridge was a beast this season, mind you, playing at an all-NBA level and earning every penny of it, but the Spurs are even older and slower than before, and they looked completely hopeless against the Warriors in the playoffs. But, of course, put the world’s best 2-way player out there on the floor, and the Spurs would suddenly have been a legit challenger to the Dubs and the Rockets. That’s how good Leonard is, which is why they’re going to have to bite the bullet and offer him the $219m. If they don’t offer it, he’s gone, and you simply cannot get enough value back in trade.
The Spurs were such a bummer this year. Oh sure, they did what they usually did, which was out-execute all of the bad teams, and enough of the visiting teams, in order to rack up a decent number of wins, but they were horrible on the road and against the good teams, where the scheme couldn’t compensate for the overall lack of talent. If anything, the entire Kawhi saga has served to nuke that narrative of the perpetual motion machine that the Spurs have built up in the past two decades. They’re prone to the same sorts of bickering and in-fighting and sniping as every other franchise in the league. And so too did the gloss and lustre come off of Kawhi the quiet superstar. Even if he’s legitimately injured, which I believe he is, the optics of it all have been bad.
Oh and one more thing about the Spurs: Manu Ginobili is not allowed to retire. Few people bring the joy and the imagination to the game quite like Manu does, so he cannot leave. He must play until he 80. There. We’ve voted on it.

Speaking of bickering and sniping and in-fighting, here’s a live look-in at the goings-on in Washington:


When Giannis says, in the aftermath of losing to the Celtics in Game 7, that he felt like the Bucks were the better team, you can at least see his point if you squint and look hard enough. If any member of the Washington Wizards does that after their meek exit in six games against Toronto, you’re reminded that this team would be better served if someone went and got a gag order issued by a judge. And then you have John Wall coming out in his postseason presser and throwing all of his teammates under the bus, apparently having also thrown under the bus the mirror that he should be looking into, since he’s part of the problem.
All you need to know about how dysfunctional this team was this past season was that a team with big aspirations, and big opinions of itself, managed to only go 21-15 against sub-.500 teams. Given that so many of the sub-.500 teams were actively trying to lose games this year, to rack up 15 losses against that sorry lot is only possible with a lack of focus and cohesion. In a year where the East was wide open, given that Boston lost Gordon Hayward five minutes into the season and Cleveland was a festering cesspool, a team that was actually as good as the Buzzards think they are would’ve been up at the top of the standings from the get-go and managing their roster down the stretch to prepare for the playoffs. As it were, John Wall then is forced to miss two months with a knee injury, the team is in trouble and has to scramble to get an 8-seed in the playoffs.
Now, to be fair here, it’s unclear just how many of the early season struggles of the Wiz owed to the fact that Wall’s knee was killing him. That doesn’t help matters. He was clearly struggling. But then, lo and behold, he goes out of the lineup and, at first, they win some games! And the ball movement is good, the offense is crisp, and you’ve got a few people starting to whisper that maybe Washington is actually better without John Wall – which they aren’t, of course, as this run of play had more to do with the fact that the other guys on this team came to realize that they’d goofed off for much of the season, their margin of error was now gone, and they needed to actually focus and start playing better. But, of course, this being the Buzzards, where everyone involved appears to hate one-another, guys were suddenly talking about great “team” wins on social media in what were considered by every Buzzards observer to be poorly concealed jabs at Wall and his propensity for hoarding the ball.
And I love me some John Wall. Wall becoming a daredevil going 100 mph on the fast break is one of the most breathtaking things in the sport. But whereas I’d be worried, as an opposing coach, about what do against Wall, that’s still better than being terrified about Bradley Beal, which is what should happen because the guy can be just unguardable at times. Oh wait, I know how to guard him – let the Wizards do it for me! Let Wall pound the rock and go one-on-one and only throw it to Beal in bad areas of the floor. And as much as I love Wall in the open floor, the guy takes a beating. He’s got bad knees already and he’s due another $160m in the next four years – yeech – and he’s going to have to modify his game. He can do that, of course, but pretty much everyone in Washington has to, at this point, which would require them to, oh, you know, maybe actually play as a team and try listening to a coach for a change. They’re going to have to, given how much of their cap is eaten up by the enormous contract of Wall and the maxes doled out to Beal and Otto Porter (whose injury didn’t help matters against Toronto). They managed to make enough small moves to cobble together a bench unit this season that wasn’t an affront to the game of basketball, but no big moves are coming.
I felt a little bad for Scotty Brooks. I’ve never thought he was a particularly good coach, and he certainly should be used to not being listened to after having coached OKC, but he looked exasperated by the end of the season, as the Wiz were coughing up 19-point 4th Quarter leads in Cleveland and blowing games to tank commanders like Orlando – games they needed to win to avoid getting stuck playing Toronto in the first round. Scotty was clearly wondering what he has gotten himself into.
This team was a colossal disappointment, a mix of bombast and bluster, a heap of dung and slag. It was the type of team which teases you with their potential but never leaves you feeling satisfied.

I generally don’t watch much of the Miami Heat, because I find them to be generally unwatchable. Their defensive strategy seems to be to foul the opposition repeatedly on every single play and dare the officials to call it. The offense doesn’t work all that well, either, and there are stretches of their games where they look like a lottery team. Other than Goran Dragić, I’m not sure there is a single player on their team that I’d actually want. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I missed the Dion Waiters Experience this season, as he was out after an ankle injury, and he took with him the irrational confidence and wild shotmaking ability that made Miami fun a season ago. I wasn’t the only one who missed Waiters. Miami really could have used his offense this postseason.
Waiters revived his career in Miami, and was rewarded with a nice contract. This has been the way that Miami does business over the years. You come to Miami, you buy into what they do, you play well, and they tend to reward you with a contract that’s generally above market rate in terms of both dollars and years. And this is a commendable way of doing business, an admirable way and one of the reasons why Miami is considered a top-notch organization. 
But it’s not useful to have a whole team of guys with extra-long, extra-pricy deals if none of them are actually very good. There is a feel-good and collegial sort of vibe to this team, and a sense of strength in numbers, in that Coach Spo will plug and play any and everyone on the roster to good effect at times, but it was so abundantly clear during their first round defeat to the 76ers just how disparate the levels of talent were between the two teams.
And you can certainly understand why Miami wants to keep doing what they’ve been doing, given that they’ve won three titles, but not even repeated acts of sorcery from Spo can masque the fact that the roster is not very good. Another problem seems to be that they are stuck in their own nostalgia at times. The return of Dwyane Wade from Cleveland at the trade deadline amused me, in that the Heat were winning a lot of close games in crunch time, but given his equity with the franchise, Wade was bound to wind up being inserted in crunch time lineups when, by all rights, he had no business being there. To his credit, Wade got in shape upon returning to Miami and provided a few vintage moments here and there, including a great performance in their lone playoff win, but this was in no way a viable solution. If anything, it was a solution that went searching for a problem. They were fine in close games with their close-to-the-vest approaches. It was when they needed to open up the games that the Heat struggled, as they are lacking playmakers.
And the other big issue, which reared its ugly head in the playoffs, is the fact that Miami has invested an ungodly amount of money in center Hassan Whiteside, who got played off the floor by Joel Embiid and then bitched about his role to the press to such an extent that Pat Riley felt the need to respond. This was one of the sneakily bad contracts given out in the summer of 2016, and one that was made worse by the circumstances. Remember, the Heat were one of the teams Kevin Durant was willing to take a meeting with in the Hamptons that summer, but before that meeting occurred, they dumped $100 million into Whiteside – and while there was no guarantee KD would want to come to Miami, that gargantuan deal made it virtually impossible for the Heat to put that deal together even if KD did. And I have no idea why anyone in Miami thought that it was a good idea to invest so much in a less-than-complete player like Hassan Whiteside in the first place, much less one with a propensity for selfish play, and much less even still who is playing a position which has never been so less in demand. 
Nor do I have any idea why felt a need to match the offer for backup point guard Tyler Johnson given in RFA by Brooklyn. I mean, I like Tyler Johnson, but the Nets poison pilled and backloaded the deal, and the contract explodes starting next year to $19m a year. (The Nets, who had nothing to lose, used this ploy on Washington and Portland as well, offering wacko deals to RFA’s Allen Crabbe and Otto Porter that the others felt they had to match – the moral of the story being that if you have to hold your nose and do it, don’t do it.) Guys like Whiteside and Johnson are not  guys you can really build around and win with, and they are unmovable guys now! You can’t do that!
And what should be one of the league’s glorious franchises is, in fact, rather unsightly. The Heat were completely out of ideas against Philadelphia, and seemed far more determined to want to try and fight the Sixers than try to beat them playing basketball, but the Sixers wouldn’t take the bait. But when it came to actually playing the game, the Sixers simply blew them away.

One team that didn’t get blown away was Indiana. In fact, the Pacers followed up last season’s playoff performance against Cleveland, where they set a record for the best point differential for a team that got swept (-16), by setting a record this year against Cleveland for the best point differential for a team that lost in seven games (+40). If any of these vanquished sides this year can make a legit claim that they were the better team in their series, it’s Indiana – and that’s with LeBron absolutely playing out of his mind, no less. By the eye test, the Pacers were the better team, and the better team lost.
And it was a frustrating series to watch, because Indiana could have won all seven of the games. The Pacers are sort of a strange team, in that they’re sort of a versatile bunch of generalists who don’t have that much of an identity. They shoot well from three, but don’t shoot many threes, in part because they also shoot well from two. They started out the season playing among the fastest teams in the league, but by the end of the year, they were playing among the slowest. They’ve got a bunch of guys whose greatest strengths seem to be, above all else, that they know what they’re doing, with the idea being that Indy can throw a whole bunch of competent guys out on the floor at any time and carry on, and yet it was in all of these small moments here and there in this series where the Pacers would lose focus and make mental mistakes – turn the ball over or fail to properly execute breaking a trap - that ended up costing them this series. They could never seem to settle on what kind of an approach they wanted to take to attacking the Cavs – a team whose defensive flaws are many, so it’s not like you’re lacking for choice. Indiana could run them up and down, could drive it to the basket, could do whatever they wanted ... but never seemed to make up their minds. And the one thing the Pacers have never done well is rebound, which killed them in Game 7, as the Cavs dominated the offense glass to both create extra possessions and slow the game down – which proved crucial, given how LeBron was gassed by the end of this series and running on fumes.
As annoying as this series was to watch, and as frustrated as the Indianapolis faithful most certainly are after losing yet again to LeBron in the playoffs, this has been a really nice year for the Pacers. They are different from all of these aforementioned first round losers in that they’ve got considerable room to grow. They’ve got money to spend, and they’ve got a core of young players to build around. They far exceeded any and all expectations, having gone off in Vegas with an O/U of around 30 wins at the start of the year, and GM Kevin Pritchard struck it rich by trading Paul George to OKC for Victor Oladipo – who will win the NBA’s Most Improved Player award and who received MVP votes – as well as center Domantas Sabonis – miscast as a stretch four in OKC and showing great potential now in Indy in his more natural position. Everyone, including me, thought this was a terrible trade for the Pacers, one which was somewhat cynically done so that the Hoosiers buying tickets in the Fieldhouse would be mollified by seeing, out on the floor, one of their favorite adopted sons in Oladipo. But Oladipo showed up to camp in great shape, ready to push the pace and run the offense, and he was terrific all year. Funnily enough, when you tell guys in the NBA that their role is to be furniture, they act like a piece of furniture, which is basically what Oladipo was last year in OKC, and now the $80 million extension he signed while in OKC, which felt destined to be an albatross, suddenly looks like a great value contract.
Oh yeah, and speaking of OKC …

I saved the best for last here, but I’m going to attempt to write about the sound and the fury signifying absolutely nothing that was OKC in the most objective way possible. And this is hard for me to do, of course, because I hate that franchise with a passion, and find an OKC loss to be the most enjoyable thing in all of the sport. But here goes, so bear with me.
Perhaps the best line about OKC which I heard all year came from ESPN’s Royce Young, who said that OKC could take any team to seven games in a series – they could take Houston or Golden State to seven games, or they could take Phoenix or Sacramento to seven games. They were all over the place. Once this supposed ‘superteam’ had been constructed, with Paul George coming from Indiana, and with Carmelo Anthony coming from New York in exchange for Enes “Can’t Play” Kanter, they were going to be a worthy challenger to the Warriors for supremacy in the West. Oh, of course, it would take some time to ‘figure it out,’ but come playoff time, this would be a dangerous team and legitimate threat.
And not once did I ever believe that. 
There would be glimpses, of course – they’d beat the Warriors or put 148 up on Cleveland or win at Toronto – but ultimately, whatever success this team could garner was unsustainable, as it was entirely dependent upon their ‘Big 3’ making tough, contested shots since, yet again, the offense was a complete quagmire and literally nothing ever came easily for anyone.
And it’s always been that way at OKC. The ball doesn’t move. It stops and everyone else stops as well. A first action doesn’t work, and the default setting is for Russell Westbrook to just do something, anything. 
Which, frankly, is the way that Westbrook seems to want it. His competitive drive is unquestioned, and I truly think that Russ does what he does on the floor because he truly believes it gives his team the best chance to win. A lot of nights, he’s proved correctly, in fact. And while I’m not interested in going back and deconstructing the MVP race from a year ago, I firmly believe that the way in which OKC plays – with one guy dominating the ball while everyone else stands around waits for the scraps – is not a winning strategy. The narrative was that Russ had “no help” in a 47-win, 5-game playoff season. So Presti goes out and gets him help in PG13 and Melo, and it results in a 48-win, 6-game playoff season. 
And it’s impossible to say what does and doesn’t constitute “help” because it’s impossible to view anyone on this roster outside of a Russ-related context. People have tried to make the case regarding Oladipo that he wasn’t the same player a year ago, but how would you even know that, since he almost never was on the floor without Westbrook, and had to be subservient to Russ’ whims. Same goes for Steven Adams – a promising young center and a definite badass, but someone who is almost never on the court without Russ. What can he actually do on his own? I have no idea. The bench has been so worthless that it almost seems like it is deliberately constructed in an attempt to make Russ look better, since OKC always looks completely hopeless whenever he is off the floor. Everything about this team, for the past two years, has felt artificial and contrived, with the entire narrative being “look how great our small-town hero Russ is.”
At no point did I ever believe they were ‘figuring it out’ this season, and whatever flashy moments of brilliance occurred obscured the greater reality that this team really wasn’t very good. My most retweeted foray onto twitter of all time came in response to Russ mashing a dunk and stomping around and scowling against Charlotte, which drew oohs and aahs from the Russ stans out there, and completely ignored the fact that Charlotte responded to said dunk by going on a 22-2 run and handing OKC yet another confounding loss in a season of confounding losses. OKC apologists could also point to the devastating injury sustained by defensive specialist Andre Roberson, which was a real downer, as something which undid their season, but if your season is really being undone by a guy who can’t shoot a lick, perhaps you’re not as close to élite as you think. They played down to their competition repeatedly, struggling regularly with the Dallases and the Phoenixes and the Sacramentos of the world, all the while saying they would ‘figure it out,’ but never actually doing so, because there was nothing really to figure out.
This team was a fraud. It was a fraud from the get-go, and I’m amazed that anyone bought into it. Actually no, I’m not, because it’s the same group of people who think Russ ‘plays harder’ than everyone else simply because he stomps around and scowls.
A phenomenal and inspired comeback, led by Russ and PG13, from 25 down against Utah in Game 5 saved the season, but they were down 3-1 in the first place because of their nonsensical defending of Utah’s pick-and-rolls and because of Westbrook deciding he wanted to shut down Ricky Rubio, after Rubio lit him up for a triple-double in Game 3, and then wasting his time picking up four fouls in the first half of Game 4 doing that, while the Jazz just shrugged off this made-up beef and went about running more pick-and-rolls which OKC couldn’t defend. It was such a selfish and small performance by Westbrook, who then atoned for his sins in Game 5, and who then took 43 shots in their Game 6 loss, including 19 threes, which was both preposterous and, quite possibly, necessary since everyone on the offense just stood around and waited for him to do something. As much as I don’t like the way Russell Westbrook plays and think that he pads numbers and chases stats, there has never been any sort of a coherent strategy in place to do anything besides that. You can’t play this way and hope to win, but good luck getting Russ to change. (Now he can do what he wants, remember?) 
And now OKC is in a mess. They swung for the fences and they whiffed, and going out meekly in the first round of the playoffs is an unquestioned disaster. This entire season was intended to be a sales pitch and an audition to the soon-to-be free agent George, but even if he wants to re-sign for OKC – which seems unlikely, given their awful performance this season – their cap situation is dire: including luxury taxes, the cost of reassembling this team next season would run well over $200 million, to which ownership will rightly ask why it is they are paying over $200 million for a 5-seed. It would help matters if Anthony would opt out of the $28m he is owed next season, because he is miscast as a catch-and-shoot guy, can’t guard anyone, and was routinely hunted by the Utah offense to the point where head coach Billy Donovan had to bench him in the playoffs, which is pretty much the only decisive thing Donovan’s done in the last three years. But there is no way in hell that Anthony would do that, since he isn’t likely to garner more than a fifth of that amount on the open market. Volume shooters who hoard the ball and can’t shoot from three and can’t defend aren’t exactly en vogue in the NBA, except in OKC, of course, where they already have one of those guys in Westbrook and definitely don’t need another.
And while I revel in OKC failure, the fact is that if the effort on the court had matched the effort it took to compile this team, OKC would probably still be playing. That Oladipo and Sabonis bloomed in Indianapolis while George is likely to walk, and Kanter had a nice year in New York while Anthony was a bust, doesn’t change the fact that they were trades GM Sam Presti looked, at the time, as if he’d won. They were, at the time, seemingly no-brainer trades. And even if he didn’t win those deals, it was worth it to try. When trading for Chris Paul, Rockets GM Daryl Morey said that thanks to the dominance of the Warriors, it was necessary for Houston to “raise the risk profile.” Doing so is quite likely going to lead to one helluva good series in the Western Conference Finals. And I would much prefer to be profiling teams that take big risks, try to amass talent and wind up missing than those who simply give up and throw away multiple seasons trying to amass ping-pong balls. We can question the methods and mistakes, but ultimately, losing in the playoffs is the right sort of losing.


Thursday, April 12, 2018

Four Thoughts, Plus Stoppage Time


Yes, this was a penalty

LONG-TIME readers of The Lose will recall that I covered, extensively, the 2014 World Cup with my daily ‘Four Thoughts’ columns. The 2018 event is just around the corner, and obviously I need to be getting back into game shape. This compelling set of UEFA Champions League quarterfinals – all of which I’ve now finally gotten to watch, including that drab goalless draw in Munich – seemed like a perfect opportunity to do so. This was some pretty gripping stuff that we saw in the past couple of days, much of it worthy of exploration and explication.

• Just because the right call was made at the end of the Real Madrid-Juventus game, it doesn’t mean that we have to like it.
It was the right call. It was a penalty. It was. Benatia ran into the back of Vazquez as the Real player chested the ball down a few yards in front of the goal. By the letter of the law, that’s a penalty.
Now, was it a soft penalty? I would argue that it was. What’s annoying to me is not awarding a soft penalty, but the fact that a referee is willing to award a soft penalty when, throughout the course of every single football match, there are about 5-6 fouls in the box which are way, way more egregious that don’t get called. Seriously, watch a set piece closely some time. It’s absolutely ridiculous. Guys get clutched, grabbed, kicked, and basically mugged on pretty much every corner and free kick. This is common knowledge throughout the game, in fact, and yet somehow the referee always turns a blind eye to it.
One of the great frustrations of the game of soccer is the fact that different positions on the field are officiated differently. If an attacker as much as blows on a defender and the defender goes down, it’s a foul. Any contact by a defender on an attacker, meanwhile, is subject to this complex and nuanced interpretation. The reason for this difference is obvious, of course: referees are loath to award penalties, which are game-changing moments in a match, because doing so makes the hardest thing in the game – scoring a goal – into something that’s relatively easy to do. This response from referees is entirely understandable, as referees don’t want to overly influence games – the problem being, of course, that not awarding penalties can be just as influential on a match as awarding them.
And this particular penalty call in Madrid on Wednesday night gets into something of a gray area when it comes to officiating a match – officiating having as much to do with keeping the game moving as it does interpreting the rules. We are okay with allowing wrestling matches to take place on set pieces because, in the bigger picture, no one is all that interested in seeing 5-6 penalties awarded every game. Along those lines, an argument could be made that referee Michael Oliver should have “swallowed his whistle” late in the match, rather than award what turned out to be a 98th minute penalty to Real Madrid which they needed to advance from the two-legged tie. But the problem with that, in my view, is that a foul should be a foul, be it in the 1st minute or the 90th. As a case in point, it annoys the hell out of me that NHL referees swallow their whistles in the playoffs. They are simply unwilling to call penalties in the third period of games, wanting the players to decide the game – which basically gives the defenders free rein to do all sorts of awful stuff they otherwise shouldn’t be allowed to do, and that makes the game, as a whole, worse.
Having said all of that, seeing a soccer game end on a 98th minute penalty – no matter how justified the call was – just feels cheap. It felt especially cheap in this match, a stunner of a game in which Juve were up 3-0 in Madrid and had leveled the 2-game series on aggregate at 3-3 after having completely bungled the opening leg in Turin. Juventus were absolutely brilliant in this game, playing daring football throughout and pressing the attack while relying on Gigi Buffon, the modern game’s greatest goalkeeper, to somehow keep the ball out of his net. Real was actually pretty good going forward, only to be stymied by Gigi and the Juve defense.
Real did literally no other phase of the game well, however. Navas could be blamed in goal when he fumbled away a routine cross at the foot of Matuidi for Juve’s third goal, but the Real goalkeeper also had little help, as Madrid’s defense was atrocious. Visions of Belo Horizonte danced through my head watching Marcelo get roasted routinely – all three goals started on Real’s left flank – and no one in a white shirt seemed terribly interested in marking Mandžukić, who scored twice and who, if anything, didn’t get the ball enough, in part because Real had so many leaks in the dyke that there was space everywhere for everyone in a yellow Juventus shirt to roam. This was the annoying sort of game Real has mastered in the Champions League over the past few years, one in which they find a way to advance in spite of the fact that they don’t play worth a damn. It’s another game where Cristiano Ronaldo basically does nothing the whole game, and then gets to strut and preen and pose without his shirt in the dying moments.
Juventus were understandably incensed by a stoppage time penalty being awarded to Real Madrid, and Gigi Buffon was understandably sent off for bumping Michael Oliver, who probably just officiated the last enormous match of his career on account of this last-minute controversy – the reason being, of course, that instead of talking about what was a terrific and compelling game of football, the only thing anyone wants to talk about in the aftermath is a 98th minute penalty and the sending off of Juve’s goalkeeper and captain, two decisions which Oliver actually got right. I’m not sure why anyone would ever want to be an official in any sport, much less the game of soccer, where not even being right is good enough.
Juve feels hard done by, of course, and the conspiracy theorists among their faithful no doubt believe that such a call would never had been made had it not been a game against Real Madrid at the Bernabeu – a curious argument, since among the cynical Serie A followers that I know, almost all of them, to a man, believe that Juve get all the calls and all the breaks and are always the beneficiary of curious late game penalty decisions which go their way. Juve was one of several big European clubs for whom these quarterfinals proved to be a case of turnabout being fair play.

• When did F.C. Barcelona stop being fun?
Oh, sure, they’re running away with the title in La Liga, where they lead by 11 points and haven’t lost in 31 matches this season. And they still have Messi, of course, who still does something jaw-dropping and spectacular on a regular basis. But the fun is gone in Barcelona, gone along with the clever, creative, dynamic sort of play which made any soccer fan outside the city of Madrid want to fall in love with this team all over again.
Instead, what we have now is a resilient, resourceful, tenacious sort of side which can hunker down and grind out results. Seemingly lost alongside the departure of Neymar to Paris St. Germain is that systematic sort of brilliance, that 1-to-11 sense that everyone on the pitch is capable of producing something spectacular. Barca games have been a delight in the recent past as much for all of the little things their players would do on the field as the grandiose strikes at goal. It could be just simple things here and there, like the way they move the ball out of traffic in the back, the way their players bring the ball down and control it on a turn to pick out a teammate, the way they could make these short, incisive little one touch passes here and there and thread them through a narrow window in the defense. It’s within those small sorts of details where Barca’s brilliance was always on display, small details which ultimately made their deliberate, short passing game so devastating. Any simple movement could suddenly become devastating to the opposition, as Messi & Co. would be charging ahead on a stampede before you even knew what had happened.
But we don’t get that sort of play much more from Barca. Instead, Barca has become a team wholly dependent upon one player to be great – which, in truth, Messi is most of the time. But if he happens to be having an off-night, there really is no Plan B.
Plan B for Barca on Tuesday night, as it turns out, was to get their asses kicked in Rome, because A.S. Roma were all over them from the get-go.
Barca were such enormous favorites going into the second leg that some bookies weren’t even willing to take wagers on the game. What was the point of taking bets on such a long shot? Having said that, the 4:1 scoreline in the first leg at the Camp Nou didn’t match the eye test. That result flattered Barca, as Roma had the better of the play for much of the game, only to stupidly score on themselves twice in the first half and dig themselves a hole. But Roma weren’t scared of Barca. They knew that they could play with them. They believed that they could win.
Reputation and legacy often translate into a huge advantage. The bulk of Barca’s opponents play scared. They bunker down and park the bus – which, in fact, is pretty much the last thing you want to do against them, since letting a better team keep the ball the entire game gives them plenty of time to figure out how to beat you. A lot of the time, when playing an aggressive attacking team, you are better off going on the attack yourself and trying to put them under pressure, at which point you may come to discover that they don’t defend very well. I’ve said this for years about Brazil in the context of the World Cup. I would argue that in the 1994 and 2002 World Cups, Brazil won in part because of reputations, since so few opponents had the courage to try and take the game to them. Funnily enough, the two teams who have historically given the Seleção the most trouble in the World Cup are the Dutch and the French, two teams who flat-out don’t care about Brazil’s legacy and are going to take the game to them regardless.
And A.S. Roma flat out didn’t care that they were playing Barcelona. They were not afraid, they felt like they could beat them, and they came up with a plan to do so – three in the back, a big striker pairing up front to try and win the aerial game, play the high press, high energy, play the body when needed, and then get the ball forward to Edin Džeko, who is huge, and who completely bossed the Barca back line. Roma were quicker, were more determined, and their midfield three pushed Barca around and controlled the center of the park.
Barcelona, meanwhile, were terrible. Messi wasn’t at his best, but we also got none of what’s good from Suárez and a lot of what’s bad. Suárez did doing nothing save for rolling around on the floor and flopping like a fish. Once it got to 2-0, the third Roma goal started to feel inevitable, while at no point did Barcelona ever seem like it was likely to score at all. They were simply waiting to be saved by another Messi miracle which never came.
The 3:0 scoreline is a shocker, but in the bigger picture, this was the sort of result for Barca that we probably should have seen coming. It’s easy to give a pass simply because of the name on the front of the shirt, assuming the legacy club is going to somehow muddle through it. But Barcelona was outplayed by Chelsea in the Round of 16 for long stretches, saved by some Messi genius sprinkled in with comedic individual errors in the Chelsea defense. But they did not play well, and Chelsea missed the chance to pull the upset. In the end, Barca ground out a result against Chelsea – but Barca isn’t supposed to be about grinding out results. They’re supposed to have flair and style and creativity. They’re supposed to be the vanguards of the modern and beautiful game.
This step backwards is what happens when you lose a player like Neymar, who is one of the 3-5 best players in the world and whose remarkable interplay with Messi and Suárez up front was integral to making Barca seem nearly invincible at times. Guys of that ilk are impossible to replace, and the problem with selling a guy for €260 million is that everyone knows you have €260 million to spend, so not only are you unlikely to be able to buy a player to replace someone of that calibre, but anyone you do buy is also likely to be insanely overpriced. Dembélé and Coutinho are both very good players, but their former clubs – Borussia Dortmund and Liverpool, respectively – were ultimately quite happy to cash Barca’s cheques, and neither club seems particularly bothered by the departure of those two players, both of whom had to engage in some tactical acts of petulance in order to get their way.
Meanwhile, Iniesta and the rest of that Spanish core of theirs isn’t getting any younger, and the club’s infatuation with spending heavily on bright and shiny objects has come as the price of the club’s academy, an apparatus Barca used to great advantage which doesn’t seem to be churning out any good players at the moment.
Not that anyone is going to feel sorry for F.C. Barcelona, of course. Oh, you had a superstar talent walk away from you? Boo hoo. Congratulations, Barca, you’re now just like every other club that you ever bought a player from. That they’ve had such an outstanding season in La Liga is a testament to experience, savvy and pragmatism, but no one is watching Barca to see pragmatic soccer. They’ve built their legacy over the decades as the people’s team by flipping two fingers at convention, Johan Cruijff style, and charging ahead. It’s not enough to be tenacious and resourceful. This is the bar they’ve set for themselves.

• Jürgen Klopp gives zero fucks about Pep Guardiola, and gives even fewer fucks about whom he has to face next in the Champions League, and all of us who love the game are better for it.
The Lose loves me some Liverpool. Footballing fandom is complicated, of course, and while my true football love are the Canaries of Norwich City F.C., the fact of the matter is that Norwich City F.C. are presently garbage, so I need another side to follow in order to keep my interest up. Among the biggest clubs, I’ve always been partial to Liverpool, who were great when I lived in Britain and won their last First Division title the year that I was there.
And I’ve always loved the way that Klopp’s teams play. It’s heavy metal football, it’s full throttle, it’s frenzy and chaos and madness in motion. And I love the fact that Klopp is going to play that way come hell or high water. People rightly point out that Klopp’s Liverpool side can’t defend, but the fact that they can’t defend just makes the games all the more fun. Give up a goal? Who cares? Just go and score two or three.
But Klopp isn’t a case of style over substance. Remember, this was the last guy to beat Bayern Munich and win a Bundesliga title at Borussia Dortmund, and even reached a Champions League final during his tenure. He was a perfect hire at Liverpool, a club which, much like Borussia, is relatively enormous by global standards and a blueblood by legacy, but one which has had to begrudgingly accept its 2nd-fiddle status amid the modern economic realities of the game and embrace the role of being the underdog.
In a 2-leg cup tie, a team like Liverpool, who plays with fearlessness and frenzy in a style like no one else, makes for one of the worst possible sorts of matchups. English clubs have sort of grown used to it, having had to deal with Klopp’s side twice a season for a couple of years now, but it makes them a terrible opponent in something like the Champions League. But I only say sort of used to it when speaking of the EPL sides, because Manchester City certainly haven’t gotten used to it.
City got absolutely blown away in the first leg of their quarterfinal tie, conceding three goals in the first 30 minutes, at which point the tie was essentially over. Liverpool cut them to ribbons. It shouldn’t go unnoticed that, over the course of Guardiola’s managerial career, Klopp has had more success against him than just about anyone else. Guardiola plays one way – fast, fluid, on the front foot. Klopp counters that by simply playing even faster. In about half of their matchups, Klopp has topped Pep by beating him at a psycho version of Pep’s own game.
The second leg wound up being something of a mess due to some lousy officiating. Man City’s second goal was incorrectly ruled out for offside, but it could be argued their first should never have happened, at the goal scoring sequence stemmed from a marginal non-call that went City’s way. Even so, City lost their cool and Pep lost the plot, getting into it with the official and winding up being sent to the stands and watching as his team was done in by some shambolic 2nd half defending.
And it’s been strange to see the luster fade on this Man City team as the season progressed. Having rampaged their way through the EPL, rendering the regular season moot by Christmastime, they naturally set their sights on what they thought was a bigger prize, and quite possibly would have landed that prize had they not been drawn against an opponent ideally built to thwart what they do.
When it comes to a club like Man City, who’ve now spent a whopping £500 million to assemble this team, it’s hard not to grade on a curve, grade harshly and grade them down. But this is what happens your club becomes a petrostate plaything. Much like Paris St. Germain, Man City has a limited history of success, but being blessed with seemingly bottomless pockets inevitably comes with the curse of seemingly endless expectations.

• Sevilla didn’t have much of a shot of beating Bayern Munich, losing the first leg 1:2 at home and then slogging through a goalless draw in the return leg. It was notable that Sevilla even got this far at all, seeing as they haven’t played worth a damn for most of this season. Sevilla sit 7th in La Liga at the moment, some 18 points out of a Champions League place, and this goalless draw in Munich came on the heels of being thrashed over the weekend, losing 0:4 at Celta Vigo.
Sevilla are a proud and much-respected club, one which has won three Europa Leagues in recent years – no small feat, given the amount of games required, and also the amount of effort a coach has to go to in order to convince his players to care about a second-rate competition. They always do more with less, and while they can struggle, at times, to keep up with Barca and Real and Atletico Madrid, Sevilla are always up for the fight.
Sevilla’s inclusion in the final eight came at the expense of Manchester United, whom they defeated 2:1 over two legs and whom has a wage bill more than twice the size. It was a disastrous result for United, who played tepidly against an opponent that was short on talent but long on desire. And it was after the second leg that the usual string of apologists in and around Old Trafford wanted to make all kinds of excuses for the pitiful performance, excuses along the lines of that Jose Mourinho needs to spend more during the upcoming transfer windows in order to compete with Europe’s best – a laughable assertion, given that they’ve spent upwards of £300 million already. It’s gotten really pretty annoying, in fact, listening regularly to the likes of Man United and Chelsea going on complaining endlessly about how Pep’s been basically given a blank cheque to go and buy whomever he wants at Man City. Sure, that’s true, but what’s also true is that under Guardiola’s tutelage, you can see that a whole lot of City’s players have – wait for it – actually improved. Hey Jose, hey Antonio Conte, here’s a good idea for you, given that you’re a coach: why don’t you actually try coaching!
But instead we can look forward to a whole summer of ludicrous transfer rumors about Manchester United – if every United transfer rumour were to come true, they’d need a start in something like a 0-2-8 formation in order to fit all of the attackers in – and United will likely go out and buy a bunch of guys they probably don’t need, all of them talented and all of whose talents will wind up being wasted when Jose decides to park the bus against Liverpool and Man City next fall. A team laden with this many talented players shouldn’t verge on being unwatchable.
Perhaps the best thing that could have happened for United last weekend was to fall behind two goals against their crosstown rivals – who were looking to clinch the EPL title plenty early – because at that point United had to actually try to play some football for a change, and they promptly stormed back against Man City in the second half and scored three goals. Oh, hey, holy shit, this Pogba guy is awesome! This Alexis Sanchez guy is really good! Wow, Chris Smalling still exists! There are a whole host of good players on this Man U roster whose careers are basically rotting on the vine as they get played sporadically, get played out of position, and wind up subjected to a style of play which doesn’t suit them. It’s no wonder the whole never equals the sum of the parts. And as much as Man United is a marquee name in this game, at this point in time, why would a quality player, in this day, want to subject themselves to playing boring football at the whims of someone as petulant as Mourinho?
If Sevilla represents a lot of what is good about the game, Manchester United embodies even more of what is not. A club like Sevilla does more with less and maximizes the talent available. A club like Man United, meanwhile, can’t cease squandering it.

• This year’s Champions League quarterfinals did something this tournament rarely does, which is to provide entertainment. Wipe away the gloss and shut out the bombast, and the truth is that a lot of the time, this tournament isn’t very good. It’s still a Cup competition, after all. It is an event prone to randomness which clubs have to shoehorn and fit into their already busy fixture lists. We want this competition to be the pinnacle of club football, but it rarely works out that way. Quite often, in fact, you see a team ascend the way Real Madrid did a couple of seasons ago, when they won the thing without playing particularly well, which owed mostly to them winding up with a series of favorable draws along the way.
But I was hoping for the Champions League to live up to the hype this year, for once, because all across Europe, the domestic product has been even worse. Other than Serie A, where Juventus and Napoli are duking it out for the title, there is no drama to speak of, nor has there been for much of the season. Barcelona are 11 points clear in La Liga; Man City are 13 points clear in the EPL; Bayern Munich are 20 points clear in the Bundesliga and clinched the title with five games remaining; Paris St. Germain have a 14-point lead in Ligue 1 and have spent the better part of the season showboating and clowning their opposition – and in doing so, developing the sort of lazy bad habits which came back to bite them in the ass when they played Real Madrid in the Champions League’s round of 16. None of these results in the top leagues of Europe could even remotely be considered a surprise.
There is a staleness in European domestic football at the moment, one stemming from a sense that there is no drama at all and nothing much for anyone to play for. Rather than attempting to rise up and compete, a whole lot of European top flight clubs are choosing to write off games against the big guns and put all of their energy into trying not to get relegated. There are a lot of bad teams in these leagues, and I mean really bad.
But you can understand the mindset. However much you might spend in order to buy and pay players, it’s still not going to be enough to compete with the unlimited budgets of a Bayern or a Real Madrid. Hell, you’re not likely to even get out of the bottom half of the table – and literally everyone in the bottom half of the table is a relegation candidate. The consequences of failure far outweigh the benefits of success.
This system no longer works, and the primary apparatus perpetuating a non-working system is, of course, the Champions League, which is basically an ATM machine for Europe’s top clubs. It is an excuse for them to go about printing money, which they can then spend to continue to hammer their domestic opposition into the ground. Teams want to win this 13-game tournament far more because of the payout than the prestige. If Juventus can add, say, €90 million to their budget for finishing second in this tournament – which is what they did when they lost to Barcelona in the 2015 final – they can then turn around and use it to buy up top players, a good many of which will directly come from their closest competitors in Serie A. To no surprise, Juventus now wins the title every season, as does Bayern and one of the enormous Spanish clubs.
The top clubs make big bucks in the Champions League, then use the prize money to beat up the locals and qualify for the Champions League the following season, where they make even more money and further widen the gap. It is a vicious cycle which, over 20+ years, has created such a disparity in revenues and values that it makes some of these clubs seemingly invincible. I watch these games even though, in a broader context, I feel as if I shouldn’t, since I am fundamentally opposed to his sort of artificial inqeuality.
There are threats and sabre rattling from time to time by Europe’s top clubs about one day forming some sort of a European Super League, but as I’ve said before, that idea would be really exciting for all of a season, since someone would have to lose, someone would have to finish last, and none of these clubs’ spoiled rotten ownership and fan bases would stand for it. All of their privilege and status in the game is based upon either steady streams of domestic success or the sudden ability to possibly acquire that success thanks to suddenly endowed by sugar daddies for owners. All of that grandstanding is intended solely for the small handful of clubs at the top to bribe UEFA into giving them an even larger slice of the pie.
What should be on display in the Champions League is the best the game has to offer: the greatest players on the greatest clubs. But what it also ultimately displays, in the broader picture, is the worst of the game’s business practices. Most of the great clubs have humble origins, and ultimately ascended to the top through being great. But that ethos had long since been lost, and you can see why. Where is the drive to be great when you can simply go out and buy it?
And while it is easy to think that a club like Manchester City will simply buy their way to the top of the heap thanks to their sheiks for owners, the fact is that in the EPL – the richest league of all – the big clubs all eventually became full of themselves and wound up getting careless and lazy. They took their eye off the ball. They spent badly, they were managed incompetently, they became soft. And that fact contributed to Leicester City rising up and winning the title two seasons ago, at which point some of the big clubs in England wised up and reëvaluated what they were doing.
The whole of the club game in Europe would do well to suffer such a jolt, as a few of the clubs at the top seem to have grown far too comfortable, while the middle class clubs have seem to have grown despondent. Perhaps a shock Liverpool or A.S. Roma win in the Champions League would shake things up and challenge the establishment. If nothing else, them winning certainly would be a whole lot of fun.

Do you have any questions you’d like to ask? Would you like to commiserate because your team sucks? Drop me a line! You can email me at inplaylose@gmail.com, and when we get enough questions and comments gathered up, I’ll do another Hate Mail edition of In Play Lose.

Thursday, March 29, 2018

There May Be Hope for This Mess Yet

Still-Life with Bad Writing

“Cut out the parts of the book that nobody wants to read.”
– Elmore Leonard

EVERY now and then, I like to provide you an insight into my creative process, or lack thereof. The Lose’s great failing when it comes to being a writer involves a complete inability to get anything finished, owing primarily to the fact that I have the attention span of a gnat. This certainly applies to this blog, as I’ve got all sorts of essays drafted and half-finished – stuff about injuries in the NBA and the upcoming baseball season and how the Champions League is rubbish and whatnot – but none of it’s close to finished, and some other bright and shiny object gets my attention and I lose my way. I lose interest in topics quickly – so quickly that I just sort of forget I’m working on something, at which point I wind up stashing it somewhere on the hard drive and forgetting it exists. Over time, this constitutes an enormous backlog of junk, but also results in some interesting ideas that simply got lost in the shuffle, or buried in a file somewhere desperate to be unearthed.

Last November, in the spirit of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month), I adopted a ploy called NaNoRevMo (National Novel Revision Month), in which I went plowing through the entirety of my unpublished creative output and tried to then figure out what was worth keeping, and what was worth getting rid of. To give you some idea of what we’re talking about here, the total word count of my finished, published works (all of which are available through those gadgets on the side of the page) is 355,000. The total word count of all of the crap growing moss on my hard drive was 777,000. That’s a shittonne of stuff: drafts of novels, novellas, short stories, poems, essays, articles, outlines, ideas worth developing, etc. Some of this stuff dated all the way back to 2004, some of it was just a shell and a carcass which I’d picked clean and used somewhere else without even realizing it. In short, it was a mess.

So back in November, I decided that I would read through all 777,000 words of that stuff, figure out what was worth keeping and figure out what had to go. Since I had so much junk to go through, I didn’t actually set out to do any revisions at the time. I simply made notes, intent upon coming back to it later.

It’s now later.

The past few days, I went through my notes which were scribbled into the comments and the margins of these pages. As I went thumbing through all of these pages, it occurred to me that probably the best representation I can present of my creative process would be to gather up all of these comments from my self-critique. What follows is a sampling of my comments, culled from multiple manuscripts. Suffice to say, I’m sort of ruthless when it comes to self-criticism. I don’t ever get my feelings bent out of shape by an editor telling me that my work sucks. Whatever they say, I’ve said worse.

Oh, and these comments and musings all come from the stuff that I ultimately decided to keep and possibly revise. You can imagine how god awful the hundreds of thousands of words were that I threw away, some of which was so badly conceived and executed that I wondered why I’d bothered in the first place. I may or may not have been sober for a lot of this process. I either drank too much or not enough. Quite possibly both:

“Absolute shite.”
“Pompous twit.”
“Absolutely nothing happens here.”
“Saying nothing of use since 1969.”
“Limp.”
“Bad.”
“Lazy language.”
“Got verb?”
“Verbs! Verbs! Verbs damn it!”
“I am a lazy verb. I have lazy verbs. My verbs go lazily into that good night.”
“Change every verb to snarf. It would at least be funny that way.”
“Didn’t I write this once before? If so, I didn’t learn from my mistakes.”
“Why would someone read 113,000 words about this tool?”
“No, he’s not mysterious and evasive. He’s just a tool.”
“Fluffy Jesus.”
“Did I really say that?”
“Tighten up the language. Cut every third word.”
“Purple.”
“Floral.”
“Stop trying to be Shakespeare.”
“To thee? TO THEE? What the hell is that?”
“I have no idea what I’m trying to say.”
“Junk.”
“Gibberish.”
“Squidly writing.”
“God, get a spine.”
“You wrote better sentences when you were 7.”
“I just flat don’t care and neither should you.”
“FUCK THAT ADDS UP TO 22! GODDAMNIT!” (Blackjack game.)
“Much like the light, the car just changed color from green to red.”
“Bad splice of two different stories – there were no cell phones in 1990.”
“That street isn’t in Brussels.”
“He just drank two different beers within three paragraphs. Shit. Maybe he should just go on a bender and drink all of Ireland.”
“I thought these two people liked each other.”
“This sounds like it came from a web site for dry toast.”
“This paragraph is pointless.”
“Where is this thread going?”
“NOTHING ACTUALLY HAPPENED IN THAT CHAPTER!”
“The plot just went in a circle.”
“The plot just went on vacation.”
“Pace pace pace”
“Tempo! Tempo!”
“This is a comedy, not a Bergman film.”
“Vite vite vite!”
“Do we believe this shit?”
“This makes no sense.”
“If that paragraph made sense, it would still be terrible.”
“Get a new job.”
“Idiot.”
“You said this exact same thing 20 pages ago.”
“You said this exact same thing 30 pages ago.”
“Save this line for a poem.”
“Save this plot point for a novel that doesn’t suck.”
“Save this for a space zombi sex opera.”
“Needs more ninjas.”
“Needs a drunken punch-up.”
“Make it weirder.”
“I think there was a metaphor in there somewhere.”
“It’s a date, not a therapy session.”
“Why would she ever fuck him?”
“Lori wouldn’t marry this guy. She would murder him.”
“It’s at this point that I turned to a life of vandalism.”
“Emotionally dishonest.”
“Intellectually dishonest.”
“C’mon Doug, you’re smarter than that.”
“Bernard shouldn’t be that dumb.”
“Why would these smart women want anything to do with these clowns?”
“The main character is a douchebag. That’s a problem.”
“Not even Al Pacino could make this character interesting.”
“I like this guy a lot less when I’m sober.”
“She’s supposed to be sexy. Stop preventing her.”
“Sex this sloppy deserves such sloppy prose.”
“Oh God this is SO BAD.”
“This could be worse.”
“This is worse.”
“Worse would be a compliment.”
“Congratulations, you were more vague!”
“That’s a big plate of meat.”
“Oh come on, no one says that ever.”
“I obviously cared a lot to write so much about something so dumb.”
“HHHHHHHHHHHHHHTTHHHHTTTHTTTTT66t6666666666666666666Y” (The cat jumped on the keyboard at some point while I was away from the laptop.)
“Barf.”
“Gag.”
“Hmm …”
“Where is this storyline going other than straight through the floor?”
“Why would the reader care?”
“Dear reader, I apologize for wasting your time.”
“Clever reference to something only I care about.”
“You had an idea at some point in time. Lord knows when that was, or if it was any good. Probably not.”
“Piece of shit.”
“PIECE OF SHIT PIECE OF SHIT!”
“Sheep shit.”
“This is horseshit.”
“He wouldn’t say this. He’s too chicken shit.”
“Why isn’t Jay eating here? He’s eating in every other scene.”
“When did he become redneck trash?”
“Trash.”
“BAD! WEAK! GOD HELP US ALL!”
“This sounded better in the original Norwegian.”
“I have no idea what I was thinking when I wrote this.”
“I’ve made poor life choices.”
“This paragraph should read ‘nothing actually happens here for the next six lines in between what Carrie just said, which is cool, and what Doug is about to say, which is also cool, so you, the reader, should just skip over it and maybe go get a sandwich.’”
“Stop inviting the reader not to care.”
“Adam Sol made fun of me once for writing trash like this.”
“I hate everything.”
“Blech.”
“Yeech.”
“God, this is so bad.”
“Six kinds of crap.”
“Now with even more crap.”
“Wait, the character’s name changed. Her name was Jenny before.”
“Gah! Wrong city!”
“When did this fascination with shoes seem like a good idea?”
“I’ve read worse. I’ve also written worse.”
“This is a mess.”
“This belongs in another story.”
“This belongs under the front tire of a car.”
“Burn this script.”
“I had a point to make here somewhere. It’s here. I know it is.”
“What the hell just happened?”
“Carrie called. She wants to be the heroine in a new novel, one which doesn’t suck.”
“Hmm, I seem to skim through the passages where Carrie isn’t on screen. There’s probably a reason for that.”
“Cheese.”
“Expensive cheese.”
“I need a drink.” (This one appears often.)
“Cut it. It’s bad.”
“Cut it. Used it in another piece.”
“Cut it. It was a bad idea 10 years ago and it still is.”
“No one wants to read this tripe.”
“Oh stop it already.”
“50¢ word.”
“$5 word.”
“£10 word.”
“Now with even more dumb adjectives! And scrubbing bubbles!”
“This fight scene is absolute pants.”
“Insanely idiotic.”
“Worst sentence ever.”
“That’s one of the dumbest things I’ve ever said.”
“This Amsterdam passage is some of the worst writing ever.”
“Call Anouk and ask her how you say, ‘the author is a dipshit’ in Dutch.” (Edit: Anouk now tells me its de schrijver is een hondenlul,” which literally translates as the author is a dogs dick.”)
“This isn’t going well.”
“Hmm, that’s not too bad.”
“More here. That’s good.”
“Nice.”
“Damn, she’s awesome.” 
“This is progress.”
“This is good.”
“There may be hope for this mess yet.”