But there was El Tri clinging to 4th place in "The Hex," leading by 3 pts. over Panama after this miracle gave them a 2:1 win over Panama last Friday at Azteca. But a Mexican loss coupled with a Panamanian win would bounce El Tri out of the World Cup. The Mexicans had a game with Costa Rica in San José, and the Ticos were sure to play hard even though they'd already qualified for Brazil, simply because they cannot stand El Tri and would love to play their part in snuffing out the hopes of their fiercest rivals.
Panama, meanwhile, played the U.S. in Panama City. Now, the LOSE theorized not long ago that, given the chance to bounce their rivals from the competition by tanking one at the end of the cycle, the U.S. just might do so. The problem is that such shenanigans, while generally the norm in football, are decidedly un-American. And Jürgen Klinsmann has let it be known that he is still in search of a final XXIII for Brazil next summer. The Panama game, thus, was yet another audition. A chance for some players to make an impression. So no, the U.S. didn't dog it, even though they could have.
But nonetheless, Panama had so much more to play for. And while El Tri were making a mess of things in San José, on their way to getting beat 2:1 by the Ticos in the latest in a string of sluggish and unimaginative performances, Panama scored a goal at 83' to go ahead of the Americans 2:1. All of a sudden, the Mexicans were on the outside looking in.
And then this happens. This is Mexican television keeping tabs on the game in Panama City as the game goes into injury time, the Americans trailing by a goal and Mexico's World Cup hopes slipping away.
OK, so who saw that coming? Show of hands. Anybody? Anybody? Didn't think so. That's one of the zanier finishes I've seen.
Here is a rough translation of the Mexican commentary during the final minutes, as provided by César 'Señor Salad' del Solar, the South American correspondent for IN PLAY LOSE:
Announcer 1: long ball to Saborio, costa rica recedes, USA's
ball, 3/4 of the way to the endline, attention to the US's center --
GOAL! GOAL! GOAAAAAAAAAL! USA's goal! We love you! We love you forever
and ever! Aaah! God Bless America, doctor, the USA gets us back
in the run for qualifying. The USA! Not you! You who are dressed in
green don't! But they do! You don't! Let it remain clear all your lives,
you do nothing for the uniform! You do not push the team forward! You
don't put us in the World Cup! You don't keep us alive! It is the United
States, not you! Not you and your arrogance! Not you and your infamy!
Not you and your fireworks!
Announcer 2: It's a failure, and besides it is undeserved, because you didn't
even have the arguments to get us to at least the playoffs. The USA,
with several substitutes, look, with many substitutes, went there, was
dignified, shows us who is the United States, how they understand this
sport - and the Mexican team is truly Dantesque, horrific, terrible, a
failure of futbol ...
Announcer 1: GOAL!! GOAL!! USA! We are in the playoff USA! So we can keep
criticizing ourselves eh, so we can say that USA already surpassed us!
The USA is more than us in futbol, the USA today has the luxury of
playing with substitutes and keeps us alive! Hopefully Vucetich puts on
his pants, or tenders his resignation today! He is a failure as a coach!
He is not functioning as the coach of the team! We need someone with
pants who can play the Europeans (?). There exist no Europeans in this
team (?) at this moment, doctor. [César: I don't know what this refers to or
if I'm hearing it right, someone help :)]
Announcer 2: No they don't exist. The game in Panama is over and Mexico will
play against New Zealand dragging its legs, its dignity ...
Can you ever imagine an announcer saying that in the States? That mix of jubilation, gratitude and stunningly blunt admonishment of their own team that spews from the announcers is phenomenal.
And what a crushing loss for Panama. They've been building this team for about six years now, but that's twice this year that the U.S. has denied them – first in the Gold Cup final, and now this. They're not the most exciting team to watch, but they are resourceful and seem to find ways to get positive results. I wanted the best for them – and I suspect I'm not alone in that.
"This is just how football writes these crazy, emotional stories, and you're in the middle of it, because we all felt all of a sudden when Graham (Zusi) scored that header that it was all quiet, silence, and you feel for them. Maybe it's a little bit in my culture, in the German culture you never stop before the referee blows the whistle, because I have won many, many games in the last minute. And hopefully, we keep on winning more. But it was a very sad moment for all here in Panama. We understand that.''
– Jürgen Klinsmann
Considering that they just scored the tying and winning goals in stoppage time, those are about the two most subdued goal celebrations that I've ever seen. The Americans look downright apologetic after the game-winner. Even the American players seem to have realized what they had just done: they had aided and abetted the enemy! And yet both Zusi and Johannsson were simply making plays that were available to them. It was all in the moment and in the flow of the game. You cannot really blame them for scoring goals, especially when Panama's defense was so bad there at the end that it made it almost impossible for the U.S. not to score.
It's stuff like this which makes these games some of the greatest pieces of theatre in all of sports. In nations like Panama and Jordan, Burkina Faso and Iceland and Uzbekistan, these late-stage World Cup qualifiers are some of the biggest events – not just sporting events – in these countries' histories. (The Stade de 4 Aôut in Ouagadougou was packed so full on Saturday for the Burkinabé match with Algeria that fans were climbing the light stanchions just to get a better view.) The tension and the drama is unparalleled in sports, and some remarkable things happen. Stuff you'd never think you would see – nor hear, for that matter.
So the two injury time goals give the U.S. a 3:2 win over Panama and saves Mexico's bacon in the process. And the U.S. Soccer Federation couldn't resist the chance to troll their southern neighbours after this was over:
There was some begrudging acknowledgement from the head coach of El Tri after the fact:
"We have to praise ethical and professional behavior, in this case by the United States.”
– Victor Manuel Vucetich
And some of the Mexican fans have shown their gratitude in creative ways ...
... while also being rather skeptical of their own side, who now has a somewhat tricky playoff with New Zealand ahead of them:
Like I say, beating the Kiwis is no sure thing. The home advantage of Azteca will possibly be overwhelming, as it will be nothing like anything the Kiwis have ever faced, but the return trip to Wellington won't be a picnic. And the U.S. won't be around to rescue them from the dustbin a second time. The Mexicans have to play a helluva lot better than they have been, or all of that gratitude from earlier this evening may turn out to be for naught.
