What the?

YOU know, it’s already hard enough to beat those pesky, annoying, green-and-yellow wearing fashionistas from the University of Nike Oregon. The Quack Attack have been consistently one of the best teams in the nation for the part of two decades now, and are perennial contenders for the national title. (They also tend to choke once they reach the big stage, but we can save that for another post.)

Oregon’s at #4 right now in the polls, and a good bet to reach the 1st ever national playoff if they can keep winning, but they were in some trouble last night in Salt Lake City against a pretty good Utah team. The Runnin’ Utes were up 7-0 after the 1st Quarter and then speed daemon Kaelin Clay got behind the Oregon defense to catch a 79-yard TD pass:

Wait, did he just, like, drop the ball in the field of play?

He did! About the only person who noticed this was the Side Judge, who didn’t rule a TD, but instead threw the bean bag, meaning it’s a fumble.

So now you’ve got three Runnin’ Utes celebrating in the back of the end zone, the band playing, the fans going nuts, 6 points going up on the scoreboard … and a live ball rolling around on the field which an Oregon DB then just sort of picks up, thinking it’s a dead ball, and then he sees the bean bag and suddenly realizes that it isn’t a dead ball at all. He promptly runs into a Utah guy and fumbles, at which point Oregon LB Joe Walker scoops up the loose ball at the Oregon 1-yard line and this happens:

99 yards later, after being escorted down the sidelines by a convoy of teammates, Walker and the Ducks have a tying TD.

What the?

So to recap, we have a play that covers 178 yards, includes two fumbles, leaves everyone confused including the broadcasters (the best part of the video is the band quitting in the middle of the fight song), takes a TD off one side of the scoreboard and hangs it on the other, and results in a lot of very tired Oregon defenders who just ran about as far as you can possibly run on a single play in a game of football.

We would do well, at this point, to remember the origins of the word touchdown, which come from rugby. The Lose is a big rugby fan, and to score the try in rugby, you not only have to cross the goal line but you have to touch the ball down on the ground. In American football, of course, it’s changed over the years and now the ball simply needs to break the plane of the goal line, but the point is that scoring points is all about what happens to the ball and not to the player. You have to complete the play. Since scoring a TD is the ultimate goal of the game of football, you would think that what actually constitutes a TD would be so ingrained in players that it would be difficult, if not impossible, to forget.

I’ve seen the exact same thing Clay did from players on several occasions over the years. People are always quick to assign dubious motives to players who make such a boneheaded mistake – guys being hot dogs who want to show off and the like – but it’s really just an honest mistake where guys are excited and get caught up in the moment. But I’ve always wanted to know why guys are in such a hurry to give up the ball. I mean, the ball is precious. You want the ball in your hands whenever possible. Damn, if I catch a 79-yard TD pass against Oregon, I’m never letting go of that ball. I’ll run with it over to the sidelines and make them pry it out of my hands. I’ll run with it all the way to Provo.

This play would be bad enough if it just resulted in a TD coming off the board, but to have the Ducks run it all the way back for a score of their own is disastrous. This sort of transition play is an absolute killer in the game of football if it goes against you, because it so quickly undoes everything positive you’ve set out to accomplish. (The single-worst play that can happen to your team in football is the blocked punt returned for a TD. I forget the exact stats, but if your team gives up a TD on a blocked punt in the NFL, you almost never win the game.) In this particular case, being down 14 pts. in a hostile environment could’ve spelled doom for the Ducks. Instead, the Ducks tie the score with what just might be a season-saving TD for them. They then do what good teams do when given a break, which is get their shit together.

Oregon goes on to win the game 51-27, although some of that margin was garbage time scoring when the Utah defense was out of gas. Quite simply, the Utes let Oregon off the hook. This right here constitutes the worst play of the season, and maybe any season. And I should just give up saying the phrase, “I thought I’d seen everything.” This year in baseball we had three Milwaukee Brewers runners score on a wild pitch and the Pittsburgh Pirates walk into a double play. I’m not even going to guess what I’ll see next on a football field. I’ll just sit back and watch and be confounded like everyone else.